Updated: Sep 13, 2020
Manifesting Motherhood –
Soo…all my friends say I would make a great mother, I’ve felt strongly my entire life I would need to be prepare to be a single mother. I’ve found my own direction, lots of structure, went to college, bought a piece of land, and started a little farm…. Then after realizing how much I see single mothers – well, really not being single mothers, realized I need support.
I also realized coming into adulthood my lifestyle doesn’t always align with the ways I want to be a mom…. that I want to travel, I want to live off grid, I want to practice earth skills, and I want to be disconnected from the system… I want independence!
I’ve been reconsidering what it means to be a mother. I’ve thought of fostering, adopting, and getting a donor. I’ve considered some pretty silly things, and mostly I feel a deep longing in my heart that I am learning to accept as natural.
I hate the way of the world right now, we use too many resources, we don’t consider each other, we have an ineffective use of capitalism, and really…the planet is hurting. I have found several communities of people who are deeply connected with the earth, and I’m so grateful to have connected with who empathize so much with how the planet is suffering. I have began to be honest with myself on what means to become a single mother, and as much as I fucking hate capitalism. I’ve witnessed some responsible capitalists, and that’s my practice….
I’ve processed a lot about what it means to give and receive money, and I’ve always given way more than I’ve received, but I think that’s also from a confusing understanding of what my worth is based on the culture’s idea of money. My time is fucking valuable. Anyways… Now that I understand how important it is to 1, make money to prepare for being a single mother. I figure – I got about 10 years of living before the kid becomes expensive, so…if It takes me 2 years to build my business, I spend as little money as possible doing it, use as little resources as possible… I could have some pretty stable income by then.
I love the idea of teaching the kiddos all my tools of the trade as well ;-)
I think that’s one of my powerful intentions for motherhood, is understanding I want to share…. All of myself with another being. I want to meet them where they are at, physically, emotionally and energetically. I want them to have a relationship with themselves built off trust and understanding. I want them to be little healers who never question their gifts or there worth, that never question their own sensitive or empathic abilities.
I’ve spent a lot of time also considering the environment for the children, Probably too much considerations on environment, trying to make everything perfect, or pretty or neat and not really knowing myself in that – This is my own feminine urge for nesting and it’s totally natural… Just the urge. Doesn’t always mean it’s going to be what I want it to be, but be present with the desire to nest. J
However, moving into motherhood creates complications with what the idea of “stability” is, and considering a traveling lifestyle, ya know – doing’ things different like I’ve done my entire fucking life.
So….In my manifesting. I’m spending time connecting with my body, listening, and understanding her deeply. I am touching her, talking to her, loving her, and feeling so many powerful changes throughout her…. It’s addicting… to feel changes in my body. My vessel has been such a tool for connecting with spirituality, my beautiful vessel that’s served me so well, we will together come into motherhood soon.