Dating… Oh fun! –smug eye roll-
Should I stay or should I go now…now noowwww!?
That song right? You know the one… ?
Well…It became pretty obvious to me…
If I wanted a male life partner in Asheville…
I’d have to go find one, and bring them here….
-big sigh- I’m not sure if I a radiant enough, alive enough – or woke enough – Whoa…. DejaVu!!! Mmm…sit with it….mmm…love it…. –sings- It’s a synchronicity!
Ahh….. :) It’s still here…. Love it…. It’s a process to relax into.
So….I’ve been spending energy connecting with places and spaces outside Asheville.
I also---am deepening my practice of radiating my energy. But it feels special…sacred… Ugh… The opening… it’s the opening… but we can practice opening by ourselves, or with others that welcome that energy so we can open during times of stress, confusion or ambivalence?
Where would you like to travel too?
I really…. Really want to become a mom. I kinda want a life partner. Well…I do, but It feels confusing because – I’ve been preparing to be a single mom my entire life…..Now all the sudden I change all my ways of thinking, processing and relating to men?
Yikes. – That feels like a lot.
I yearn so strongly and deeply, and I also hurt, push and test so much.
I am working through these patterns… I think? With who? Ahhh…again. The practice. Well…I try. I am becoming more and more aware of my own process and needs…. More aware of the balance of masculine and feminine, I seek and need, More aware of how, where and when to be myself, where and what energy to bring, cultivate, and radiate.
See the feminine way is to be flexible…different in different environments. I used to feel confused by that….or think it was “manipulation” but – Really…my intention isn’t always to manipulate to get my needs met.
Sometimes…. I need to play, laugh and joke with the environment, or interact differently TO KEEEP YOUR ATTENTION. Y’all come on! I’m ADHD.
No…I’m a woman and my mood and energy changes every 5 minutes. ;-) Experience your changing moods as they arise.
I’ve spent a lot of time “trying to avoid hurt” and “not knowing who to trust” and “giving to all the wrong people, at all the wrong times” now…since I’ve been understanding spirituality more…. OH! Wow….so many amazing connecting powerful opportunities…. So much makes sense! It’s a practice!!
How do you share love?
But I’m still nervous…. Gah… Because it takes two, or three, or….a team, or a tribe to make a partnership or a relationship work. I’ve got a lot of insecurities that come up about intimacy; I go to fast, burn out, and then bail out. Yep. That’s my pattern. I said it… Slowing down… SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. Well…. Please?
That biological clock, what’s the timeline your tell yourself?
However – Positive self talk – I’ve noticed a trend. If I can stay committed for 6 months, I’ll stay committed for years. Yep. So y’all…. That’s my commitment level, 6 months – forever.
What’s your trend? What’s the “level of stability" you need to feel safe, secure and committed in your relationships, with your friends, your community or other responsibilities you have?
Also, how do you dim your light or your radiance?
You can check out -
Embodiment exercises I’ve witnessed & practiced to spread more life energy through your body.